Hack Slash $#*! - Episode 12

Hamtackle, Terlet and shaven-man Sir Chapsworth are back at the Hack Slash and back at the booze.  You are sure to be offended on this episode of Hack Slash $#*!!

The seed used for this world is - Turdcutalia

Music by Kevin MacLeod  http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/



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Hack Slash $#*! - Episode 11

Hamtackle, Terlet and soapy sponge attendant Sir Chapsworh are back with more Hack Slash!  The conversation centers around Thalidomide babies and people afflicted with the R word.  Yup.... Continued Classiness.....

The seed used for this world is - Turdcutalia

Music by Kevin MacLeod  http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/



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Vir Cotto is a Badass

I just finished watching the epic space opera, Babylon 5, for the 4th time.  I give it a viewing every couple of years.  Even though much of the special effects aren't that special and a couple of the actors are utterly unbearable, it is still one of the best written shows out there.  Well, at least four out of the five seasons are well written.  Season 5 is a fucking mess.  I thought I would celebrate with a clip of my favorite moment in the show.

Vir Cotto never liked Mr. Morden.  Early in Season 2, Vir let Mr. Morden know exactly how he feels about him.  Prophetically, at the end of Season 4, Vir epically delivers.  Watch the clip and you'll get it.  Vir Cotto is a fucking badass.......  Wait, is that Flounder from Animal House?

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Dump Diary

Saturday, April 6

I was able to sleep in an hour later than normal due to shifting work commitments, and the extra time brewed a steamer in me that condemned an office restroom for two hours. I had eaten spicy chili the night before, and knew the resulting squit (squishy shit) would be epic due to the potency of minor farts I had been laying since early morning. Smell rates a full 5.0, size about a 4.4 (roughly seven inches of bratwurst diameter shit), cleanup was about 2.0 due to a welcome upsplash that lent a bidet effect.

 

Sunday, April 7

I usually try to reserve my most plentiful dumps for Sundays, mostly because I can take my time in the comfort of my own bathroom. Today was an excellent example of this as I produced a crap that could be best described as "pornographic" in terms of its size, and gave me the impression that I would fare well in a prison rape scenario. Size must be rated a one time only 10.0, given that it appears this shit started near my tonsils. Smell was weak at 1.0, and cleanup was a difficult 4.5, mostly due to the copious plunging required.

 

Monday, April 8

There was no dumping to be had this day, and I walked about bow-legged like a cowboy after a long cattle drive due to the previous day's evacuation. Luckily I was not required to go into work as it was my day off, so I sat alone in the dark with my appropriate shame.

 

Tuesday, April 9

I nearly left work today after battling through the first four hours of my day with bi-hourly bouts of the shotgun shits. The pressure built up to excruciating levels until hard-packed pellets of poo ricocheted audibly off the porcelain beneath me. Size is hard to register, as the dense pellets sunk like bullets below the visible bottom of the toilet bowl. Scent was completely absent, and cleanup was effortless. It was almost like I didn't shit at all, except for the soreness in my bowels.

 

Wednesday, April 10

The dry density of the previous day's shitting was compensated for with the oily discharge that made its way into the very fabric of my underpants today. I was faced with the decision to either go home to change or to abandon all hope of comfort and go commando. I chose the latter, discarding my boxers in the trashcan for the nice mexican lady to find when she came to clean the facilities. The application of a paper towel "cork" prevented me from soiling my work trousers. Size is registered at a 0, since it was all fluid. Stench was strong with this one, a solid 4.0, and cleanup was off the scale, since the greenish tint and unruly greasiness caused me to jettison my drawers.

 

I will be back soon with further details on my crapping habits. It will keep you at the edge of your toilet seats!

Hack Slash $#*! - Episode 10

In this very special episode of Hack Slash $#*!, Hamtackle, Terlet and long pork connoisseur Sir Chapsworth discuss non-consensual intercourse excessively.  We are introduced to the horrible Zelda and inventory screens! Inverntory screens!  Inventory screens!  All this and lots more on this episode of Hack Slash!

The seed used for this world is - Turdcutalia

Music by Kevin MacLeod  http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/



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Technical Difficulties

As our loyal fans may have noticed, Popular Irony was down for 4 entire days.  Terrible, I know.  Hamtackle and Terlet have not missed a day of blogging in almost 2 years.  Our streak has been stomped into the pavement like a kitten in Japanese porn.  That's what I get for changing our domain registrar.  Also, big thanks to the technical support team, it only took 4 days for you to look at my ticket.  Immediate response my ass.

Fear not, friends.  We are back and the same as ever.  We've got some great projects in the works and maybe, just maybe, we will actually commit to one of them.  Either way, the podcast is coming.  Hamtackle, Terlet, Sir Chapsworth and an unnamed 4th are gearing up their talking holes for some filthy fun.  Master Bastard is on it's way and I'm sure it will be as warmly received as everything else posted on this site.

Until next time, thanks for reading!  Now back to your regularly scheduled dick hammering.



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The Tale Of Tommycunt

Some men are born.  And other men are made.  This is a tale of the latter, a gent that was born with the name Heidi but earned his masculinity in a trial so fierce few of us “natural men” would be able to follow.

You see, being born a woman is a mixed bag, at best.  If you are lucky enough to be sexually attractive you might find it to be easy going until old age, if you come out average you will still find love but then face the suffering of childbirth.  But if you are born repugnant, well... you might as well be a man.  

Heidi was born to bavarian farmers that were paired up out of convenience, since both were burly outcasts that couldn’t find love elsewhere, and that poor stock went through a filter during pregnancy that separated all the good from the bad and spit out a quivering pile of disgusting which became Heidi.  Based on the full mustache she bore at birth the doctor was quick to declare her a boy, but a glance at the undercarriage confirmed the awful truth.  Far from a man, but equally far from a woman, Heidi was a new and shameful breed.

She lived through her early years in a confused state, obsessed with cars and athletics she didn’t fit in with the other girls, and her imposing six and a half foot frame kept the boys at bay too.  And in a lonely world a child lives in their dreams, and Heidi dreamt big.  She wanted to be Heidi no more.  The only way to feel free was to become a man, but how?  Even the boys in her village were too wimpy for her, and she found herself shaving twice daily, even putting her father’s beard to shame!  So not any penis would do.  She needed something more.  She needed a guncock.

There were many items left over from the war in her home town, mostly nazi relics, but some allied gear as well.  And when she laid eyes on a tommy gun for the first time she became obsessed.  The length of the barrel, the shine of the fine american steel, it was a cock fit for a king!  So she began to learn a gunsmith’s trade, and soon mastered the art of manipulating metal for the purposes of wartime destruction.  Heidi quickly realized that she outgrew her home town, and could only earn her new identity in a foreign land, so she settled on the place that developed the object of her obsession, America: the home of the thompson submachine gun.  

Upon arriving on the shores of the USA Heidi wasted little time assuming a male identity, carried out expertly by virtue of a solid mustache and deep, booming voice.  But to be complete she would need to take the final step.  It took months to find a doctor with the skills necessary to graft skin to steel, but a disbarred and disgraced plastic surgeon-turned-mechanic ultimately made her dreams come true through a sixteen hour procedure that would have killed any normal man.  But Heidi was no normal man... she was TOMMYCUNT!

So if you ever happen to find yourself using a urinal next to a massive blond man with a thick bavarian accent, try to take a peek at what he is holding.  You might be in the shadow of the ultimate in masculinity, the one they call Tommycunt.  Just make sure you don’t get caught looking.  You might find yourself staring down her barrel at a .45 slug.

Behold!

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Hack Slash $#*! - Episode 9

Just when you thought you could get enough, it's time for more Hack Slash!  This sexcentric episode features many private moments from our dear pals Hamtackle, Terlet and salty sea captain Sir Chapsworth.  Be thrilled by Chap's prolapse story!  Be amazed by Hamtackle's opinion of the ideal breasts!  Tit talk and more on this episode of Hack Slash $#*!!

The seed used for this world is - Turdcutalia

Music by Kevin MacLeod  http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/



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Here is a Gif....That is all. - I'm a Zit!

Good old Animal House.  One wonders what might have happened if John Belushi had lived and played Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters...... Or for that matter Chris Farley as Shrek and the Cable Guy instead of Mike Myers and Jim Carey.  Those things were supposed to happen.  Tom Selleck was supposed to be Indiana Jones.  He's not dead, but I bet he wished he was after turning that role down.

That is all...



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