Thursday, July 19, 2012

An Italian Street Merchant Makes An Uncomfortably Hard Sell

 

My friend! My friend! I see you speak with Gurgel about his leather bags, now let me see you very much better quality. My name Pierno. I take very much care of you. Look... You see supple leather? Touch with hands and feel it like fine skin of newborn baby, eh? He say best bags in all of Florence, yes? But Gurgel is untrustworthy pedophile. Come to me, fine sir.

I show you much high quality bags for excellent price, yes? Just 200 euro for this bag. Wait! I say very much apologize, good sir. For man as strong and virile as you price is much lower. I mistake and give you price for tourist. This bag just 140 euro. You take and bag make you much better for having woman, guaranteed.

But sir, why do you not trust Pierno? I swear on the virginity of my daughter this is best bag for lowest price. I smell your excitment for fine product. I offer you bag at incredible price, just 100 euro.

No? My friend, you show you are very smart. You see right away that my daughter is just common whore. We speak like men now. Bag is for you just 40 euro. Is lowest possible price. Under 40 euro I must beat my wife for internet videos to make money for food. You do not want wife beaten for fetish videos, yes? You want Pierno only beat wife for dirty household, yes?

Sir! Sir! Do not go to Gurgel. I make you special offer, never before offer. We go to alleyway and Pierno give slow rub, then fast rub for making fire in loins. Then you pay 30 euro for bag. Very good, sir. You know fine quality when wanting leather bags. Give Pierno few moments to wash hands in gutter before alleyway fire-making.

 

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