Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Happy Birthday!

Kill two birds with one stone, that's what my pappy always said.  I had an awful conundrum at the super market today.  It's my boy's birthday and I only had enough money for one thing, chicken wings or a birthday toy.  Shit, I tell you what, decision making is a bitch.  Do I choose the love and adoration of my young boy or fill my belly with piping hot chicken wings?  Suddenly, brilliance struck.  I could do both!  I just have to take advantage of my extensive art skills.  I only need two things.  chicken bones and wire. 

This is the first and most important step.  First, you need to strip the chicken meat off of the bones.  I prefer to use my teeth.  I dispose of the meat by swallowing it.  That just leaves these shiny, perfect bones.  These bones contain so much potential for my boy's entertainment. 

All you need now is some wire, love and time.  You could make those chicken bones into anything you can imagine!  My boy asked for an Iron Man toy.  I did him one better.  I made him a Bone Man!  He's a billionaire industrialist whose genius allowed him to harness the unlimited power of BONES!!

Just look at his deBONEair mustache.  I think the green wire just adds to his mystique.  All I have to do is tell my boy that Bone Man gets 10X more pussy than Iron Man and Captain Kirk combined and he'll be sold.  I mean, 9 year olds are pussy hounds, right?  I know I was at that age.  I can't wait to see the look on my boy's face when the social worker brings him over for a supervised visit.  It's going to be his best birthday ever!     



1 comment: