Thursday, May 9, 2013

Youth Pastor Bob

Hey, brothers, what’s up?  Whoa, whoa, dude!  I’m no narc!  Mind if I sit in and puff a few with you guys?  Cool.  (toke toke)  This is some good stuff, my man!  I haven’t had stuff this good since before I was saved.  I'm youth pastor Bob, by the way.  Blessed to meet you guys!

You over there... nice board, man!  I shred all the time at the skate park over by St. Paul’s, but I don’t think I ever saw you over there.  I like to hang down there and drop in with the neighborhood kids, you know?  Just doin’ His work, am I right?  Wait a sec, you guys playin’ some Slayer?  Turn it up, man!  You know everybody back at my church give me shit about listening to them, but I just remind them that only He will cast judgement on me, know what I’m sayin’?  That whole “rock is the devil” garbage is for our parent’s church, not ours!  Pass that thing to me again, brother.

Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about.  I don’t think I would rather spend a Saturday afternoon any other way, just tokin’, relaxin’, and celebrating our lord!  A lot of peeps down at the church don’t understand us young people, man.  They don’t get that we aren’t just hanging out by the railroad tracks getting high for the fun of it, but what we got here is a brotherhood, guys.  This little green plant isn’t some common street drug.  This is a sacrament.  And we all know who to thank for it, am I right?

Oh, I noticed you lookin’ at my tattoos.  Don’t worry, I’ve got nothing to hide from you guys!  This one on my chest meets up with a righteous cross over my heart, and goes all the way around my back.  It sorta connects my heart to my faith, because I guess...  I just know His name to be true because He is my very heart, you know?  Well, look at me getting all preachy on you guys, like you don't already know God!  People underestimate me all the time, I guess I owe you guys better than that...

So, what are you all up to tomorrow?  I mean, you planning on heading out to church?  I could sure use some company, and it IS Sunday and all...  I tell you what, I am in pretty good with father Hendricks down at St. Paul’s, and he is a seriously righteous dude.  I mean, he gets it, you know?  Anyways, I try to help out as much as I can down there, and I could sure use a hand...  I know you guys already know His word and all, but the kids could sure use someone to look up to.  And maybe we can keep the herb as our little secret, ok?

Well, I guess I should go.  But look, I will be right here tomorrow at 6am, and I sure hope I can count on you to guys to go with me.  But no pressure, you shouldn’t go just because I would be disappointed.  Make sure He is in your heart, and I am sure you will do the right thing.  But thanks for the high, friends.  Next time is on me!  See you tomorrow, hombres!


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