Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Kim Jong-un Is The Greatest!!

Have you heard about Kim Jung-un?  What!?  Of course you have, Kim Jong-un is a great leader!  The absolute greatest of leaders!  He is also one of the finest specimens of masculinity to ever grace the earth.  He is fucking majestic and mythical, like a unicorn.... no.. better yet, like a motherfucking Manticore!  A lion's body with a human head!

A deadly Manticore with it's poison tail and lethal claws.  Sometimes Manticores come with motherfucking bat wings.  I know, right?!  

He could also be a noble Centaur.  The body of a horse with the torso of a man.  There is no sexier animal than a horse and there is no sexier man than Kim Jong-un.  It all makes sense... The strength, the majesticness, the silky mane.  Could you imagine if he let you ride him?  Oh, what dreams, what dreams I have!!

The most likely scenario is that he is probably a Titan!  A true giant of a man.  A god like powerhouse of lava and fire!  I bet they have to use some of those Peter Jackson, Lord of the Rings, forced perspective techniques when filming him.  Everyone has to walk on stilts to keep up the illusion.  I heard he once ate an entire village of traitors in one afternoon!  His hunger, much like his patriotism and power, are boundless.

They claim that North Korea set off another nuke recently, but that was just a cover.  North Korea does not want the world to know that the tremors were actually caused by Kim Jong-un exploring the limits of his martial arts abilities.  The explosion was caused by Kim punching the ground at half power.  One day he will use his Kryptonian abilities to right all the wrongs of the world.  But for now he must be careful when handling anything delicate.  His slightest twitch could crush an adoring baby like crepe paper.

Kim Jong-un is also the worlds greatest lover.  But that's pretty obvious, isn't it?    

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