Monday, February 4, 2013

Be My Incest Valentine

Sis, we growed up together, always side by side. Whether on the playground or in the washin' tub, we always had each other's backs. Now that we are of breedin' age I figured we should do the responsible thing and make it official, so this Valentine's day I just wanted to ask... Will you be mine?

Don't listen to them other boys that make fun and say mean things, since they is just angry cuz their sisters are just big and fat, and Billy's sister gots an eyepatch for life and I herd she ain't got no eye under there. But you is just as purdy as any girl up in these hills and yer face reminds me of momma before she was kilt in that trailer fire three harvests ago. Plus we can always be together since we already livin' in the same barn and such, and you know how hard a worker I am cuz I take care of all the sheeps while you are off gettin' schoolin'. And you gonna be happy that I found out what was makin' by mouth stink so bad, and once daddy gets my tooth gone my breath is gonna be right again.

Now I know daddy gonna be right angry when he finds out that we gettin' all close like, especially since he been makin' eyes at you since momma died, but I know we can tell him how much we love each other and he will understand. After all, he and grandad had the same talk when he an' momma run off and got married cuz they was brother and sister before they was husband and wife. But we gots to take it slow like, and only be foolin' around (no kissin') until daddy gives us his blessing. So I'm gonna be a real gentleman until you get fond of me like a boyfriend instead of just a brother, starting with this poem:

The tractor is red,
The sheeps is mostly yella,
So what do you say, sis?
Can I be yer fella?



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