Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Russian Gem Carvings!

Oh Lordy!  I've discovered a new passion, Russian Gem Carvings!  They are simply... Gorgeous.  I went a museum of natural history to see the Loch Ness Monsters, but on the way to the dead animal rooms, I saw these amazing carvings.

This one is called "Watermelon Fatty".  It is carved from a variety of different Russian gems.  If you make decent use your imagination, you can really make your brain think that the rock is water.  Imagination is amazing.

This one is called "Polka Dot Prisoners".  It is a Russian gem carving of some prisoners making their own prison door.  I thought maybe they carved white Russian gems and black Russian gems and stacked em up to make the prisoners.  But a friendly, plaque breathed museum volunteer informed me that it is made from Zebra rock.  He then continued to tell me that the purple dot on the back is a target for guards to aim at if they attempt to escape.  I was like, whoa.

This one is called "The Honey Raker".  It portrays a man vigorously raking wild field honey.  Like the other carvings, he is made from gems and stones.  There is absolutely no honey is this work of art.  Astounding, I know. 

This was my absolute favorite piece.  It is titled "Fatty Hand-Job".  It portrays an elderly man vigorously masturbating an obese gentleman.  That old man's gem carved apron is barely concealing his geriatric boner.

Here's another angle.  Do you see the expression of complacence on the tubby gentleman's face?  What about his arm extended in mid pleasure stretch?  That old man is really getting up in there.

Now we can really see the old man's face.  He's breathing heavy, jerking off a fat man can be taxing, but to him it's just another day at the old Hand-Job factory.  Simply breathtaking.

I'm gonna head off to my local Fed-Ex-Kinkos-Starbucks and get some mega sized prints of these gorgeous photos.  Until next time!


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