Thursday, March 21, 2013

You've Been Served!

Notice of Intent to Pursue Sexual Congress:

This notice is to inform the recipient Melissa Romero of the formulation of designs to engage in sexual contact upon the recipient's person by the issuer Steven Hughes . The above implication of the term contact being described as "Any physical or visual interaction between two or more participants, either willing or unwilling, that fulfills an intent on immediate or future sexual gratification by any party therein." This includes, but is not limited to; staring, gesturing, lewd comments, exposure of indecent nature, unwanted advances, groping, unauthorized videotaping, surveillance monitoring, simulated public masturbation, actual public masturbation, temporary involuntary imprisonment, forcible penetration, and possible impregnation.

Upon issuance and subsequent delivery the recipient is requested to assume a stance of personal self preservation, and it should be understood by all parties engaging in the above action(s) in either the assumed role of aggressor or victim that henceforth possible outcomes include legal prosecution and/or physical harm up to and including unnatural death.

Should you have any inquiries about the implications of any matter listed in this notice you are urged to contact our home offices at the address posted on the envelope. Appeal of this issuance must be filed at least six(6) weeks before mediation can be scheduled between all involved parties. The acquisition of legal representation is encouraged.


By signing the above I hereby absolve the authorities and entities below of any wrongdoing by the individual responsible for filing this claim. You are to be advised that presentation of this notice at any US registered arms dealer is sufficient to allow an emergency short term personal firearms license.

From the offices of:

Brennan, Thompson, and Davis
Online legal representation and event planning
(555) 689-4271 leave msg for "Swifty"


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