Saturday, April 27, 2013


The egg stirs, cracks, hatches... Rises!!  A new era of suffering and despair bursts forth into our realm.  All because you couldn't keep your legs closed.  Seriously, why do you think that excessively attractive man chose you that night at that truck stop bar over the dozens of  other woman far more appealing than you?  I'll tell you why, that man was an elder beast from beyond the stars and he noticed your perfect egg laying hips.  His unholy star seed would thrive inside your womb.  All it took was a nod and a wink and within minutes, he was burying his thorny meat wand inside of your eager clunge in reeking men's room.

It's hard not to get pregnant by a man-beast that ejaculates in literal gallons.  Fueled by Cheetos and Pepsi, the egg matured quickly.  You thought it was just indigestion from eating at the Taco Bucket, but when you looked into the toilet, a giant feces smeared egg sat quivering in the septic mess.

You cared for it, kept it warm.  You knew it either contained your child or some other delicious animal.  Now it has hatched and your dark motherhood has begun!  It must be strange nursing a baby with a mouth full of grasping tentacles.  You could switch to formula, or you could try feeding him neighborhood children.  They all look so plump and tasty. 

One day the elder beast will return and claim his child.  With the powers of the star-born, he will depose the current celestials and usher in an age of fire and rot.  Until that day, good luck enrolling him in day care.

Awww, he has his father's tentacles.


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