Hi, it's me, Beardo. You know, Beardo! I'm that portly guy at your work that wears shorts and a t-shirt year round. Come on, you see me every day playing hacky sack while I am on break. Did you notice how all of my friends are wearing winter coats and gloves? HA! Not me, t-shirt and shorts, baby, t-shirt and shorts.
What's that? No, I'm not cold at all. I am totally tough and cool. In fact, I consider myself "The Coolest Guy at Work". I don't see anybody else kicking ass in shorts and a t-shirt when the temp is the teens. Hellz no, just me. ..... Why yes, these are the same shorts everyday...... Hmmmm? Well, who needs to own more than two t-shirts, really?
I can totally tell that people are jealous of how cool I look. They wish they could be me but they can't brave the cold like a real man, like me. It is so obvious that my female co-workers want to pork me. I mean, who wouldn't, right? ..... What's that? .... Well no, I haven't "Bed" any of my female coworkers......Yet! I think they are just too intimidated by my manly beard that is the same length as my balding head hair. Only one attachment needed for my clippers, and yes, the curtains match the carpet.
Well, I'm going to get a little more hacky sacking in before my break is over. Where are my friends? Those losers said it was "too cold" today. Wussies. ... What's that? Why yes, that is frozen saliva on my beard. It looks bad-ass right? Your eyes say no but my chapped skin says "Yes"...... OK, bye then...