Saturday, September 22, 2012

Diary Of A Degenerate 12

It hadn't even been two full weeks since Vanessa moved in and already I was trying to lose her.  She had cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, starting with the mess she left me in the kitchen and only ending after every trace of my existence was scrubbed from the yellowed wallpaper.  I felt a sense of loss like I had been robbed of my filth.

So I sat alone in the living room and drank up all her money, speaking only when I needed something from her, sex or money.  Her bounds were being tested and she reacted as if she knew this game, like an old boxer that doesn't flinch the feint anymore.  She made my meals, restocked my liquor supply, and even sent off my bills for me without asking.  I became dependent on her for my daily life and I suspected that was how she wanted it all along.

Vanessa loved my music.  At first I played it loudly to drown her out of my life, but now I forced her to sit with me in silence out of spite.  I told her I had headaches and it felt good to regurgitate the lie I heard so often from other women looking to weasel out of fucking.  I needed distance so I told her I was going to look for a job, something I had abandoned as soon as she walked into my life, and filled my wallet with her money.  She offered to drive me because I was drunk but I got angry and tried to start a fight over the issue, but she gave up so easily that it frustrated me.

So to the bar I went, already drunk, and bought a round for the lonesome strangers that were propped on the stools next to me.  It was easy to throw around money when it wasn't yours, and I wanted nothing more than to find the bottom of Vanessa's pocketbook.  After a couple hard drinks I was approached by two lovely ladies that turned out to be one rather tired looking broad named 'Destiny' once my vision straightened, and after some discussion we found out that we shared some common interests, mainly Vanessa's money and fornication, which we decided to spend the rest of the evening enjoying together.  I'm not sure when it happened, but I emerged from my stupor with a second wind and ended up dragging this inebriated bitch around like a peg leg until I found my car parked out in the street.

On the way home I wondered silently how this would play out, fully aware that Vanessa was laying on my bed worrying that I was dead in a ditch or in jail, but I wanted to bring this whole bullshit situation to a head.  Either she was going to accept me despite my foulness or she would leave, and I wasn't sure which I preferred.  Destiny was trying hard to make with the sexy talk but she was terrible about it.  She said she liked it rough but struck me as the type to cry uncle just when you had a fistful of her hair, so I told her to shut the fuck up and kept driving home in silence.

Walking up the stairwell I could hear the radio playing, Vanessa getting a fill of music before I brought my sad silence back into her life, and calmly walked through the door dragging Destiny behind me.  It all happened so fast.  Vanessa rushed at me and beat a closed fist against my face like she was stabbing me with an invisible knife.  I took three or four licks until she focused her anger on Destiny, who had already turned to open the door, fumbling clumsily with the knob like an ape with a rubik's cube.

I didn't watch as the two fought savagely behind me, but both of them were audibly crying as I poured a fresh whiskey and drank deep.  I could tell, however, that Vanessa cried from fury and Destiny from pain.  Soon I heard the door slam and a muffled whimpering fade down the hallway as the victor gave the intruder a merciful escape.  I turned around expecting to face another beating to find Vanessa bleeding mascara tears, her broken fingernails tangled with long blond hair, and I never wanted a woman so badly.  Without speaking a word we attacked each other's tongues and shuffled into the bedroom where we fucked for hours.  It was fantastic.


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