Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Booze Reviews - Pastiglie Leone Absinthium

Dr. Sheldon Bedfeathers - Unapologetic Alcoholic
Wilco, welc...  welcome once again to..  another one of my ... booze... talk .... things... um.. chock full of insightful............ opeeno  opinin.. opinions about booze.  I am alcoholic extraordinaire, Dr. Sheldon Bedfeathers.  I like to drink and I like to write so I figured I would ... um.... write about drink.  I have decades of.. um... experience with booze ..... and such. Today, I thought we would try something a bit... um.. exoticish.

Absinthe....  Delicious Absinthe.  I am quite a fan of .. um... absinthe.  Contrary to popular belief, absinthe does not make you hallucinate.  But it will get you very ... um... drunk.  The makers of today's absinthe is an Italian candy company, Pastiglie Leone.  The .. um... absinthe is called "Absinthium" which is Italiano for Green.... um... Fairy.


Let's pop the cork and see what we got!  ...............Phew, this is ... um.. citrusy and dripping with star anise.  Dripping anise.... uh huh.... Now you really need to dive in if you are truly to ... um... enjoy absinthe.  I start by filling a large wine glass.  Don't worry if it is more than half of the bottle, it's ... um... worth it. 

Look at the legs on that booze!
First I take a tiny sip...  mmmm.  .... ooooh, that is definitely....  um...  absinthe.   Then I take a swallow.......    hhhuuuhuhuhuh..... huhuhhhh... That is good!  The star anise and the citrus are ravishing each other inside of my mouth.  They are making wet, hot, carnal love across my palate and it tastes like nobody is wearing a condom.  That is zippy!  Now tip back the whole glass... all of it...... ....... .... ...... ....    HAAAA!!  HOT BUTTERED POTATO!! WHOO!! sham shammy shamms huhuhuhuhhhhhhuuuuu.   Phew!  That's uh... That's uh..  That's good.


Now, a lot of people think you should only drink absinthe if you do "the ritual".  There are several ways to do the .. um ... ritual.  There's the Traditional French and the Glass in Glass method but I have mostly done the Burning Czech Method   See, you take this absinthe spatula, rest it above a glass, place a sugar cube on the spatula and pour the absinthe over the cube.  Then you light it on... um... fire and once the sugar caramelizes a bit, extinguish and dilute it with 3-4 ounces of water.  Mix it up with the .... um.... spatula and drink. 

The Ritual
 Personally, I feel the ritual is bohemian bullshit!  It's like dumping Kool-Aid into your fine booze.  I ain't no college princess drinking pucker!  I'm a Dag-blasted man!  Diluting booze with water is tantamount to watering down your semen to help get you pregnant.  It does not get the .... um.... job done!

Overall I give the Pastiglie Leone Absinthium 4 out of... um.... 5 ...um..... stars.  Until next time, keep... um... drinkin'!


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