Thursday, September 22, 2011

Pessimism and Apathy: The Twin Tools of Success

 Tonight I share some of the insider knowledge of life and philosophy, designed to make you a more relaxed and successful person. But before we can outline the path to personal betterment we must define the goal. A traveller without a destination is pointless, like a six-dollar prostitute that can't break a $10.

Some may say that success is living a healthy life, making sure your physical and mental needs are met before tending to professional matters. Some would argue that success is gaining influence and power, and the money that lifestyle provides. The point is that everyone has their own idea of success, and it can change based on personal experience and priorities. This fact is incredibly powerful, and if used properly it can transform a suicidal caterpillar into a confident butterfly overnight.

Much like Yin and Yang, success is also defined by it's contrast to failure. The two main characteristics of a loser is their propensity to be wrong, and to fail in their pursuits. So how do you avoid being a loser? Minimize your likelihood to be wrong and to fail. The key to being successful is to utilize pessimism and apathy to minimize your personal expectations.

First we can discuss the vast benefits of pessimism. Anyone over the age of thirteen can attest to the fact that all things being equal, the more terrible of two possible outcomes is the most likely to occur. We can exploit this truth to boost our odds of being correct on any various issue in our personal and professional lives. In addition to pessimism's probability benefits is the "silver lining" factor when it fails, as it will always be a pleasant surprise when something positive happens.

Apathy is also an important tool to true success. Every failure in history has one thing in common: They tried. The simple truth is that you cannot fail unless you try. The total indifference inherent to apathy is an excellent deterrent to attempting anything. The logic here is bulletproof, and anyone that wishes to argue should consider the Denver Broncos. The Denver Broncos have NEVER lost a baseball game. If their goal was the be undefeated in baseball, would they not be successful?

So I guess the lesson here is that the keys to success are to expect less, expect the worst, and don't give a shit about anything. Pass this knowledge on to your loved ones, especially your children. The sooner they know the sooner they will find happiness!

1 comment:

  1. I thought about developing pessimism, but I guess I lost interest.