Thursday, November 10, 2011

It's Grandpa Joe!


It's Grandpa Joe!
Hey Kids!  It's me!  Your old pal Grandpa Joe!

So what do you want to do today?
Eat Cheeseburgers??   Well sure, we can eat some cheeseburgers.  Just don't tell Grandma because I am not supposed to be eating red meat.  We don't want to spoil our fun now do we kids?

When we get home, I have a special surprise for you kids.  I made you a bowl of delicious fruit punch!  Oh boy!  A homeless man pooped in the punchbowl but I scooped the poop out. Lets pretend that nothing happened and drink the punch like we normally would.  We don't want to spoil our fun now do we kids?

Now you remember kids, snitches get stitches.  We don't want to let Grandma know that I had a beer.  You know how mad Grandma gets when I drink.  Everything is going very well right now and if she finds out, my fun is over.  We can tell your mother and if she chooses to tell your Grandma about it, well then thats the way it is.  But we all know your mother does not want to upset your Grandmother, so lets all pretend I never had this beer.  Thanks kids!!

I really like spending time with you kids.  What's that??  Uncle Jerry was fucking you in the ass.  Now that is just upsetting.  Silly Uncle Jerry.  Whoa Whoa Whoa!  Let's not be too hasty and go do something crazy like tell your Grandmother.  You know she loves your Uncle Jerry and we don't want to upset her.  Let's just let Uncle Jerry continue to fuck you and your friends and we can continue to spend time with each other.  I promise to feel really bad for you in private.

Oh look!  Uncle Jerry is fucking you right now.  I will just close this door and pretend that these atrocities are not occurring under my watch.  I know you all love your Grandpa Joe, so let's not rock the boat!  Grandma would not be interested in this anyway, she would just ruin our fun.  Thanks kids!  Enjoy your lifetime of counseling and misery.  I'm gonna go coach some football.


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