Sunday, November 27, 2011

Bible Belt Babble with Willard "Teabag" Chinsley: Volume 7

 Welcome to another edition of Bible Belt Babble, saving your country once again from the Kenyan invasion!  Willard "Teabag" Chinsley here, and we have got more sanity coming at y'all in true teabagger form.  Tonight we debunk speculation surrounding Ann Coulter's gender, salute the thinly-veiled racism of Rush Limbaugh, and respond to slanderous poll results surrounding the knowledge of the average Fox News viewer.

Why censor gender?
Ann Coulter has long been a lightning rod of controversy despite her clear efforts to bridge the divide between  the liberal "educrats" and the conservative heart of patriotic America.  And with her growing popularity she has sparked a movement among the youth that is reaffirming that it is just plain "cool" to be pro-establishment.  This has spurred a predictable response in the liberal media to discredit her by implying that she may in fact be a man, and releasing some clearly photoshopped images of Ann sporting an exaggerated adam's apple.  It is true that she can palm a basketball, and there is evidence that she was forced to register for selective service, but these are mere coincidences that are being exploited by the left.  What's next?  Do we ridicule any woman with a baritone singing voice?  Is there no place in our society for a woman that is unashamed about wearing size 13 men's stiletto high heels?  And I thought the left was the party of acceptance...

If ever there was a man deserving of recognition for outstanding work in the field of racial prejudice in politics, Rush Limbaugh is the man.  Just this week he was able to get away with calling the first lady "uppity" when commenting on her use of government jets to travel overseas.  But his pro-America racist agenda has been the backbone of white conservatives for years, saying what we have all been thinking (but can't express for fear of liberal persecution).  Take these quotes, for instance: 

"You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray [the confessed assassin of Martin Luther King]. We miss you, James. Godspeed.”
“I mean, let’s face it, we didn’t have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South. I’m not saying we should bring it back; I’m just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark.”

You earned it, Rush!

And for truth in the face of public scorn, we would like to present Rush Limbaugh with the first ever "Ivory Hood" award for racism.  You are doing us proud, Rush!

And finally, we find ourselves once again in a position to defend the last source of unbiased, unfiltered truth in American media, Fox News.  It comes as no surprise that the left is throwing accusations against the intelligence of the Fox News viewer, and it just reaffirms that they consider "intelligence" and "literacy" to be virtues, and have turned their backs on the uninformed masses that make up the conservative voter base.  And in a recent poll conducted by Fairleigh Dickson University the left found more slanderous ammunition.  The poll indicates that viewers of Fox News were less informed than people who watch no news at all.  This only reinforces the teabagger belief that ignorance is the best policy, and voting should be done by "gut feeling" rather than some kind of communist "informed decision".  I mean, we are born into ignorance as perfect beings without sin, and that is how we should strive to be as adults.  Personally I have made efforts my whole life to limit my intellectual development and thereby preserve my youthful ignorance and I encourage all other like-minded patriots to do the same.
So until next time, stay stupid America!

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