Saturday, November 26, 2011

Casper, WY

Casper, Wyoming is a diverse, beautiful and isolated place.  It also holds many dark, horrifying secrets.  Did you know that Casper Mountain is the actual location of "At The Mountains of Madness" as described by H.P. Lovecraft?  In Lovecraft's story, an expedition to Antarctica discovers the ancient home of the Elder Things or Old Ones and their shape-shifting slave-creations the Shoggoths.  They are monstrous and cruel beings bent on the annihilation of humankind. 

Very few people know that the story is based in fact and the actual location was not Antactica but scenic Casper!

On the road to Casper!

Casper has a population of around 75,000 beings.  65,000 are human and 10,000 are a combination of undead, Shoggoth in human form and inhuman beasts.  Casper has a booming oil industry.  Unbeknownst to the true human oil rig workers, the oil wells are drilled in an attempt to free the Elder Things from their eternal slumber.  The oil keeps the Elder Things sedate and unconscious deep under the surface of the earth.  An ingenious prison created by the star-spawn of Cthulhu.

Scenic Casper

The Shoggoths have worked for millennia attempting to free the Old Ones from their prison, but to no avail.  Until the arrival of the white settlers.  The native Americans always shunned and continue to shun Casper, but the settlers, ignorant of the horrors beneath their feet, established Fort Caspar.  Years later the city of Casper grew from the blood soaked ashes of Fort Caspar.  The monsters of the dark realizing the possible usefulness of the humans.

The Shoggoths and other dark beings manipulated the growing human population for decades.  The modern age brought the need for fossil fuels and with it, a means for freeing the great Elder Things.  Once the oil is depleted, the Old Ones will once again cover the earth in salty darkness.

Land of green, lush valleys

Dick Cheney is from Casper.  He was born in 1865 to a one-legged prostitute mass murderer.  She was to be hung for her crimes even though she was pregnant.  As she swung from the gallows her convulsions birthed a premature monstrosity, Dick Cheney.  Ignored by the townsfolk, the infant Cheney was collected by the followers of the Elder Things.  He was raised into adulthood and groomed for his future as a world leader and Chairman of the Board and Chief Executive Officer of Halliburton.  Conveniently enough, the board of directors of Halliburton consist entirely of followers of the Old Ones.

Home of Dick Cheney

Until the eventual release of the Elder Things, Casper will continue to be an interesting and attractive place to live.  The Shoggoths will leave you alone if you don't poke your nose where it should not be.  There are some things humans need not know.  So keep you head down and keep those oil wells pumping!  Viva Wyoming!


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