Monday, October 29, 2012

Zombie Survival Challenge

In honor of halloween I elected to participate in the zombie survival challenge. You are given five minutes to grab everything that you may find useful should you learn of an impending zombie outbreak. You will need to leave your home in just five minutes, so make every item count.

Here I have some basic medical supplies. There are some vitamins, toothbrush and toothpaste (to fend off trenchmouth), adhesive bandages with antibiotic ointment and hydrogen peroxide, soap, an ace bandage in case of joint injury, some sweatproof sun protection (for my lilly-white irish skin), and a bottle of corn syrup. Why corn syrup? It is pure sugar and packs a major energy boost. Plus you can make prison wine with it.

Next I grabbed a sturdy military ammo box to carry my first aid and basic tools. Then a pack of fresh razor blades, a mess tool utility knife, a bic lighter, one led maglight, one russian military issue hand-pump flashlight, and 100 feet of military grade paracord. Any self-respecting man should have most of these items at their disposal in time of need. If you don't have paracord, buy some. It is cheap, has a 550 lb test, and can be disassembled for emergency fiahing line or suture thread.

And for some close range weapons I included a trusty and rusty combat dagger (affectionately known as a "rib tickler"), a three foot length of heavy chain with a massive padlock to act as a flail, and an adorable little half axe for breaking through wooden doors or stubborn heads. This is the holy trinity of melee weapons: bludgeoning, piercing, and chopping.

And finally, no good zombie survival kit is complete without it's essential centerpiece, the firearm. I elected not to include my AK-74 due to my limited ammo at the moment, and the sparse nature of 5.45x39 ammo here in the US. It would be dead weight without a few hundred rounds. But I did grab my Smith&Wesson .357 magnum revolver with 100 rounds of hollow point ammunition. A revolver like this will never jam, needs minimal upkeep, and will blow the roof off any zombie or hostile survivor I come across.  God bless 'mericuh.

So there you have it. My five minute zombie survival challenge. In these uncertain times it is vital that you know what resources you have at your disposal, so make sure to give it a try. If after five minutes have passes you realize there are more things you would have gone for, then maybe it is time to consolidate your toolkit. After all, your life may depend on it! Happy halloween!


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