Sunday, July 31, 2011

Congressional Drinking Game

Drink Responsibly, Vomit Discreetly

Getting Started

Three or more participants, or one raging alcoholic with no friends.  Must play with beer, as anything with a higher alcohol content would kill a horse in twenty minutes.  Turn on C-SPAN and obey all drinking rules (listed below).  You will need regular and shot glasses.


1. You must drink 1 shot of beer whenever someone says any of the following:
  • "Mandate"
  • "Reach across the aisle"
  • "Partisan"
  • "Founding fathers"
  • "Job creator"
  • "Gamesmanship"
  • "Family values"
2. You must drink 1 full beer whenever someone says any of the following:
  • "Obamacare"
  • "Ronald Reagan"
  • "911"
  • "American exceptionalism"
  • "Traditional marriage"
3. Any participant can force another player to drink a full beer if they are the first to shout "Fucksticks!" when any of the following occurs:
  • When any politician who has been involved in a sex scandal appears.
  • A speaker utters an applause line or joke that falls flat.
  • Michele Bachmann displays a chart or graph.
  • Someone makes a religious comment.
  • Any politician who has participated in a failed Presidential or Vice Presidential election appears.
  • There is a person speaking at a podium and they are not a white male.
4. Any on air awkward silence of more than 10 seconds initiates a 1 beer speed round.  Winner gets temporary ownership of the restroom.  Anyone wishing to use it has to pay the owner $1 until the owner uses the restroom personally, which relinquishes ownership.  The speed round cannot be re-initiated while there is an active owner.

5. At any time a participant can scream "Bullshit!" in response to a claim made by a politician.  That person has 3 minutes to prove the claim false in an online search.  If they succeed all other participants must drink 1 beer.  If they fail they must drink 2 glasses of beer.

Every player wins, as long as they don't end up like this guy.
Happy Drinking!
I bet he is dreaming about childbirth


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