Thursday, July 28, 2011

In the Land of Morons the Man with Internet Access is King

Advances in the accessibility of  information have divided our society.  It is so simple to get onto the Internet to gain answers to questions that would have plagued you for months twenty years ago.  Some people absorb this information, making themselves more individually knowledgeable, and some rely on it's availability (if you need it you will be able to find it).  The tendency is for people to operate like a cloud platform device (connect to stored information remotely) and only a few remain like ipods (everything on on board storage).  If you can't connect, the cloud device is a paperweight.

This leads us to an uneducated populace, able to force society into a corner with sheer numbers and prevent any ideas that cannot be reduced to a monosyllabic description so they can understand.  If they can't see the benefit at a glance, they don't believe in it's value.  And anyone who shuns the opportunity to gain better understanding is a truly worthless person, a willfully ignorant mouth breather.  We can see the examples everywhere- look at the retail industry.  Now all cash registers make change for you, leaving the cashier tasked only with counting paper money.  I had one such interaction recently, where the register ran out of receipt paper and would not make automatic change.  After 20 seconds of silence the cashier sheepishly asked me how much change I was owed.  After making change she awkwardly laughed and said "I didn't know you needed a college degree to work here!".  I smiled and left, but secretly thought to say "Actually, you need a college degree to NOT work here!".  I find it is best not to kick someone when they are down.  That is when they fight the hardest, like rabid badgers.  

Adding insult to injury
 And even in my own workplace... I had one employee that was notoriously retarded.  I spent a great deal of time trying to get her fired, but that is beside the point.  Aside from frequent complaints of racist comments while she was cruising around the property talking to her husband (who exhibits the signs of 5th generation fetal alcohol syndrome), she also makes a great effort to display her uselessness publicly.  When I once asked for my team to turn in written topic suggestions for a team meeting I had to take pause when reviewing her submission.  She was requesting me to clarify the "tendons policy".  After much review and private ridicule shared with my peers we discovered what she meant.  She wanted to review the "attendance policy".  This kind of error exposes her as someone who does not read.  I know she can read, since the job requires the ability, but being that unfamiliar with your own language means you do not have much experience digesting the printed word.  I sure hope nothing bad ever happens to those people.
Mommy likes beer more than babies!

At my job I find myself often surrounded by morons, and the evidence of it has built up over the years.  Just last week I spoke with an employee that was lingering after hours, something very few people do.  She explained that she couldn't find her car keys, and she was worried that when she went home for lunch she might have left them there.  Let's think about that for a moment...Now some people can have a momentary lapse of reason, and eventually notice their error and have a self deprecating laugh about the mistake.  But some go on oblivious, like the punchline of an untold joke.  The sad thing is this:  Only the ignorant are truly capable of happiness.  The rest of us are too busy noticing that the world pretty much sucks.

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