Monday, July 11, 2011
Quality Antisocial Programming
There are not nearly enough television shows that appeal to the antisocial element within the viewing population. I understand the issues with skittish advertising executives, FCC regulations, the standards of basic decency, and all that other bullshit. But here are some ideas for DVR-friendly programs, some based on existing shows, and even one entirely OC!
Hoarder makeover: Based on the popular television show "Hoarders", this program puts the afflicted hoarder on the fast track to recovery! The show centers around the loved ones of the hoarder that are cooperating with the producers of the show to keep it all secret. A clever excuse is used to lure the hoarder away from home for a weekend, and that's when the fun starts! A cleaning and sanitation crew goes in and strips the home. Down to the sheet rock. The house is fumigated and left in it's skeletal form for the big surprise. After the shock wears off, the producers can show the hoarder a time-lapse video of the cleanup, and the bonfire that sent all their dreams up in smoke!
Pedophile Island: This could be a follow up show to the hit reality series "Toddlers and Tiaras". The children and their horrible parents go to the island camp, where the parents compete with each other to make their child the most age-inappropriate jailbait possible. The catch? One of the camp counselors is a registered sex offender! The parents will have to balance their efforts on slutting out their kids and protecting them. Which is more important? Find out on Pedophile Island!
Trial of Life: Email volunteers are selected for a stage appearance in front of a live studio audience. Each person submits all details of their life, and the show's former CIA investigators gather background intelligence on each contestant. Each person makes a plea to the judges in the hopes of being granted their personal dream: citizenship, money, criminal pardons, etc. Each evaluation could also result in life penalties including deportation, imprisonment, bankruptcy, etc. Do YOU deserve a second chance? Careful what you ask for...
Consider this a service to any television programming executives out there. If I see any of these ideas come to the airwaves I would be flattered. Then I would hire a lawyer.