Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Two humble ideas for population control

If you are being honest about the subject you must face one of two realities regarding population control. We are either talking about killing people, or preventing births.

OK, now that the Christians are gone we can speak rationally. You will have to hear me out now, this plan isn't exactly going to be getting me elected anywhere. First off, as much as I would like to, there can be no killing. Nobody would stand for it, and it just cant be done in any practical way. That leaves only one option, preventing births!

I am all for free birth control, sex ed in middle/high school, and good old fashioned crippling shame. These are all fine ways of lowering birth rates. But in the more extreme, how about we incentivize for results? I suggest a 50% reduction in income tax for males who submit to voluntary sterilization, provided they had not already procreated. Furthermore I suggest a higher 100% reduction for females who have not procreated. The reduction in social services and traffic to infrastructure in the following 20 years would pay for the loss in revenue by itself. And I wouldn't have to suffer a room full of little league players just to buy a fucking sandwich at Subway every damn time I go there.

But desperate times call for desperate measures, my friend. I have one more dramatic approach. Lottery sterilization. Much like a military draft, only for the gene pool! The downside is that the draft has not been terribly popular, but the numbers prove this to be an attractive option (especially if you don't get picked). 20% of breeding age males and females enter the lottery. And yes, we include teenagers. Don't forget those greedy bastards. I look at it this way: almost every damn person I ever met was a borderline retard, I would say conservatively 90% of them. Not like a real mentally retarded person. They have an excellent excuse for blowing spit bubbles and masturbating in public. I mean your everyday genuine idiot. That newly sterile 20% represents 62 million people, or 55.8 million morons. Shit, Nascar would have to shut down. That would be a shame.

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