Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Chud's Bud Depot - Going Out of Business

Hey Man,

It's me, your old pal Chud, master of the bud.  You here for the good stuff man?  Well I wish I could help you bro.  The guvment shut good old "Chud's Bud Depot" down man.  They said it was taxes and shit, but I know man!  I know they could not take the truth I was giving to all my customers. 

Every Chud's customer received a free copy of my manifesto man.  Inside the manifesto is the truth about the world and the guvment and shit and coupons for the stinky green, bro.  I can't believe they shut the depot down man, it's a dream crusher bro.

Chud - Master of the Bud

So did you need to re-up your supply of the sweet chiba for your brain tumors man?  Migraines, tumors, same dif.  Well..... don't tell anybody man, there are shittons of NARQs out here man, but I've got a couple Zs of Purple Dipstick and a J full of Sanford's Pickup.  Just because the Depot is down don't mean Chud ain't got no bud. 

No thanks?  What do you mean "No thanks"?  I gots the hookup man!  You have a Medical Marijuana card and you want to be legal about it?  C'mon man!  The only legal shop left is "Mary's House of Jane" and that place smells like cat pee and dykes man!  Don't do it bro!  They'll have you hating men with your first toke on their dumpster weed.

Harsh bro!  Go ahead and walk away then.  Chud don't need you!  Chud don't need anybody!!  The only thing that can make me feel better is a hit of that tasty Treebeard's Grundle.  Oh wait.... Fuck bro, I left my stash at my bro's house.  Wait up man!!  I guess those dykes ain't that bad.  If I give you some cash will you buy me some sticky icky?  No, I don't have a medical card, why should I?  I'm the master of the bud.  You won't!?  Seriously?!  For real!?  HAAARSH BRO!! 

Well fuck man, can you blow some in my face or can I at least smell your breath after you smoke?  Seriously No!?  All right man, last chance... I will suck on your fatty if you let me suck on your fatty.  You feeling me bro?  I will gladly take a salty mouthful if I get a smoky mouthful afterwards.  Right on man!  It's a deal bro!  I'll just pretend that your dong is a bong and I'll get to sucking, just make sure I don't try to light your balls on fire.  It wouldn't be the first time that has happened, huh huh huh.  See man, it just goes to show you, no matter how bad things get, they can always get better.   


No comments:

Post a Comment