Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Pruno Experiment

I recently had an opportunity to engage two of my interests when I combined my love of science with my rampant alcoholism, thanks to the product "Spike Your Juice".  I purchased this online for about $15 and got everything I need to turn six 64 oz bottles of juice into prison wine in just 48 hours!  This is a chronicle of my first batch, which was finished just last week.  Enjoy.

As you can see, here is my ingredients list.  I am using cran-pomegranate juice, but you can use any filtered juice with greater than 20g of sugar per serving.  And remember, junior scientists, cold kills the yeast so NO refrigerated juice, only room temp stuff.

The operation couldn't be simpler.  Just pour the yeast packet into the juice (keep in mind that this is not store-bought yeast, but has a sugary coating to boost reproduction and accelerate the fermentation) and replace the cap with the included gas lock lid, which allows the gas to escape without introducing additional unwanted bacteria.

Now I play the waiting game.  The instructions say it is ready after two days, but three days allows for more thorough fermentation leading to a much more dry and boozy wine.  And since we all know I am looking less for taste and more for shitfacedness, I opted for a three day brew.  It smells like cheap wine.  Because it is.

I decided to down it all in one night, as quickly as possible.  You know, for science's sake.  I used my favorite "Batman Forever" commemorative McDonald's glass, and it came out to 8 full glasses which I eliminated in about three hours.  It was surprisingly good, considering this is essentially the same product brewed in plastic sacks under prison bunks.  Did I get drunk?  Very much so.  I wish I could give a more descriptive account of the aftermath, but I topped off the wine with whiskey and managed to destroy the secure conditions of my testing environment.  I guess I will need to make more, maybe with a higher sugar content, and I might employ a coffee filter in the final stage.  In the name of science.  As a sidenote... if you ever plan to pursue any home experimentation I only ask that you heed the warning on the box:  Never replace the screwcap on your juice after spiking.  It will explode all over the place and leave your home smelling like the final round of a hobo orgy.  Seriously. 

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