Friday, May 11, 2012

Nachos Con Carnal

Nachos?!  Did you say nachos!?  I fucking love nachos!!  There was this one time... back in Yamville... I totally banged this chick on a huge pile of nachos.  We did the greasy thrust and dined on floor nachos for hours!  It was the best night of my life.  Since then, I have had dozens of "Nacho Parties" or "Nachos con Carnal".

You too can have "Nachos con Carnal"  You only need a few items to have some very memorable love making.  You need an empty room no bigger than 8x8', a clean industrial tarp, a trusting partner or partners (preferably chubby), 50 - 60 bags of your favorite corn chips and 30 - 50 boxes of Velveeta "cheese".

Make sure that the tarp is large enough to be securely mounted to the walls of the room while making a loose but sturdy "bowl" in the center.  Fill the tarp bowl with all of the corn chips.  Make sure that the entire tarp is covered in at least 2" of chips.  The "cheese" is a little more time and energy consuming.  Get the largest cooking pots you can find, fill them with "cheese" and turn the heat on low.  It can be hard to have enough room to melt all of that "cheese".  You can do what I do.  Cut the top off a beer keg and heat it with a large propane stove.  The neighbors always wonder what I am doing with all that steaming, cheese filled keg in my front yard.  Keep guessing assholes!!

Once your cheese is melted, liberally apply it to the waiting chips.  You now have a nacho fucking dream come true.  Just wait for your Craigslist visitors to arrive and get to the fucking and feasting.  I'll tell you, you haven't lived until you've eaten soiled nachos off a strangers ass. 

The party ends when all the nachos have been consumed.  That includes the thick Velveeta layer covering the bodies of every member of this filthy fiesta.  Oh yeah, and Velveeta is a natural spermicide so No Condoms Required!!  MMMMM Rawdog and Nachos, a feast for a king.

That is mostly cheese....... cheese and semen.


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