The Patriotic Historical Revisionist Society of America: Memorial Day Edition

Another Enemy Bested

Today we at the Patriotic Historical Revisionist Society of America recognize Memorial day, a worldwide celebration of American courage and pride in our many successful efforts during wartime, and to remind us of the sacrifice made by the finest soldiers the world has ever had the pleasure of hosting. America has long taken the international community as our subordinates and proudly bore arms to protect them against the evil forces that would do them harm, often at the cost of life, indeed the most valuable type of life: American life. So to pay our tribute to the fallen we present to our dear readership the often forgotten tale of the role of America in the death of Joseph Stalin.

Many are now aware of the once unknown story of how American forces infiltrated Paris during the Nazi occupation and completed a bold assassination plot against Adolf Hitler, as was so beautifully recounted in the documentary film Inglorious Basterds by Quentin Tarantino, but few know the story of the final days of the brutal dictator Joseph Stalin. For those unfamiliar with world history, Stalin was an atheist, communist dictator of the Soviet Union during the second World War. While he held a non-aggression pact with Hitler's Germany in 1939, Hitler broke their agreement when he boldly initiated an invasion of Soviet territories with Operation Barbossa on June 22, 1941. The move proved to be foolish as German Wehrmacht forces were defeated for the first time after coming within 20 miles of the Kremlin in Moscow, and resources were badly depleted for the German army in the costliest engagement of WWII in terms of loss of human life.

Joseph Stalin was a brutal dictator, and was responsible for between 3 and 60 million deaths during his rule, not to mention the rape of hundreds of thousands of German women after the Soviets took Berlin at the end of the war. In post war negotiations Stalin quickly became at odds with western forces as he tried in vain to assert Soviet influence to gain territories beyond the Western Poland that was gained through agreements with Hitler. Once Stalin had begun supporting North Korean aggression in the Korean War, it was clear that his terrible reign must end.

President Truman took office in January of 1953, and worked closely with exiting President Roosevelt to complete Operation Christian Crusader that was well underway in FDR's administration. The focus was to send a common schoolchild into the belly of the Soviet beast to assassinate Joseph Stalin who had outlived his usefulness to become a nuisance to the West. The brave boy selected was Billy Nelnick, aged 12, a student at St. Jude's Catholic School in Charleston, South Carolina. He was immediately drafted as a special operative in the United States Army and granted the lowly rank of Private on January 5th, 1953.

After only a month and a half of training the young boy was sent to infiltrate the Iron Curtain and make a bold play for the death of Stalin himself. After gaining access to Stalin's Kuntsevo residence just west of Moscow, the boy was able to apply a fatal amount of the rat poison warfarin to Stalin's personal bedside tobacco pipe. Upon returning to his home on the evening of March 1, 1953, Stalin ingested the poison and was found on the floor of his bedroom the following day, diagnosed with a cerebral hemorrhage (an effect of the poison), of which he died four days later.

Upon his heroic escape Private Nelnick was immediately promoted to the rank of Sergeant, and was able to advance his way to the prestigious rank of Four Star General before being tragically taken down by a sniper's bullet in Cambodia while undertaking Operation Linebacker during the Vietnam war in 1972. He died while engaged in frontline combat, despite military objections that he was far too valuable personnel to be entrenched in ground conflicts. His courageous actions were proof to the entire world that a seemingly harmless American child was indeed possessed with greater valor and cunning than the entire Soviet Union, and had the effect of creating an international environment of American admiration that lasts to this day.

So let his sacrifice be an example, indeed one of many, of the American exceptionalism that has become the international hallmark our great country is now known by. And let us never forget that the prosperity of the western world owes it's debt to our grandeur.


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