Friday, June 29, 2012

Smell This

Sit back.... relaaaax.....  Just breath deep and think of caaalm oceaaaan waaaaves.  Now close your eyes......  Thaaat's right..  Keep them closed .... Keep them cloooosed.  Now smell this.

No no no.. relax.  Just sit back down.  Calm calm.  I really want you to smell this.  ... No, you can't see it first, that would ruin the pleasur er,,, um fun.  Now sit back....  Relaaaax.  Think of warmmm mmountain breeeezes.   There you go. .... Isn't that nice?

Now keep your eyes closed and get ready... get ready.. to smell thi,.. What?  ...... Yes...... Yes, it is smelly......  What?!  Smelly can be good.......  In fact..... some people could even say that their favorite color.... is a stink.  An absolute wretched reek.  An unholy foulness that permeates the air like a fetid fog, but for some reason it strikes your fancy.  It has such a fetor, but such an attraction, that you fill paper sacks with it and breath into it like a horse feed bag.  Now think of waterfalls.  Smoooth glistening waterfalls.

Ok.  I can tell you this much.  It is a smell that I would very much like to be surprised with... .... What!? Well, that's just rude.  What gives you the idea that my odor palate would be so depraved.  Now I reeeally want you to smell it.

You know.... I could fucking make you smell it.  I've already rubbed it on a rag and it wouldn't take much for me to force it upon you.  I would prefer that you just relax, sit back, close your eyes and smell this fucking rag!

There you go.... relaaaax... just sit back... Oh, you are shuddering, you poor dear.  This stink will make you feeel aaaaalllll better.  Now close your eyes.... Whimpering is not relaxing... There you go... Relaaaax.

Now smell this....   See!?    Not bad eh!?   Lilac.


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