So there I was again, following that Electric Magic Man, Nikola Tesla. I like following Tesla because its like stalking a sweet scented bucket of handsome. I just want to dip my arms into that bucket up to the elbows and bathe myself in it's pungent aroma. Once the bucket is empty, I would crawl up inside of if like a kitten and dream the dreams of satisfied woman. But I am as shy as the day is dreadful. All I can muster is distant glances at my quarry. One time I threw a rock at him that had been gifted with a kiss, but I hid before he saw me. If only I knew how to get close to my unrequited lover and win his affections.
|Nikola "Sweet-Ass" Tesla
Late one night, while picking through Tesla's refuse searching for hair, I saw him. Nikola's greatest enemy, Thomas "The White Knife" Edison. He was sneaking to the rear of my dear Nikki's house. I hid behind the garbage cans and watched. Edison had a several lengths of copper wire and a many glass tubes. He approached the back door and slowly turned the handle. I knew my lover was in danger. I pounced from behind the garbage with the fury of an injured jackal. I slashed and sliced with a rusty tin can lid. Edison was caught off guard and he tumbled backwards onto a garden rake and screamed.
|Thomas "The White Knife" Edison
I heard a scramble of voices and running footsteps from inside. Even though I just saved his life, I could not face him. His beauty would leave steaming bloody sockets where eyes once dwelt. I heard my dear Nikola talking to the fiend Edison. It sounded like my lover was pleading with the swine about the future and possibilities and "the deal". Edison accused Nikki of sending an assassin after him so he could have it all to himself?! Oh dear! Oh what have my brash actions cost my sweet Nik? Edison got to his hoof-like feet and said that he knew working with Tesla would be impossible. My Sweet Nikola broke down into tears and went back inside his house. From the sounds of it he spent the rest of the evening weeping and electrocuting stray dogs.
I must make it up to him somehow. I know! I will drain the town of its absinthe and finally forcibly take Tesla as my lover. The unwilling seed he will plant will one day grow into a Demi-God of a man. Our spawn will exist within the fulcrum of possibility's , master or destroyer of worlds. His fire will rain from the heavens as he sits atop a throne of skulls laughing at the ponderous mortals below. I think that is what he needs, whether he wants it or not. Or I could keep looking for delicious mustache hairs.