Friday, August 26, 2011

Chud's Bud Depot

Hey man,

Welcome to the Chud's Bud Depot man.  I'm Chud, master of the bud.  Can I please see your medical marijuana card?  I'm just fucking with you man! Huh huh huh.  Oh, you have one. . . Weird.

Chud of Chud's Bud Depot
So what kind of high are you lookin for man?  Do you like loopy highs with mellow fluffy lows or do you like a steamy, zippy buzz?  Do you like gettin spliffy blitztastic man?  . . . . . . . You don't know?  Don't tell me you are a green virgin, bro.  . . . . . . . .  You get headaches so your doctor said you should get weed?  Like, for real man?  So, like, you really need that prescription man?   . . . . .  That is fuckin crazy, bro.  Well don't worry man, Chud's got all the smoke you can toke.  I have several recommendations that are perfect for your brain cancer bro, or whatever.

First up man is the Stinky Purple Waffle.  Take a wiff.  . . . . Aw yeah, right!?  Smells like a skunk took a shit on your ball hammock right bro?  That is some good smoke bro.  This shit will get you high, cause you to become distant from your family, get your girlfriend's much younger sister pregnant and make you drop out of school.  It is that good bro. 

 Are there more than one variety??!  Huh huh huh huh Fuck yeah bro!   There is The Salty Riverdance, The Violet Strangler, The Tracheotomy Kush, The Purple Tipped Mouthful, The Blue Dandy, The Aurora Gingivitis, The Trojan Push, The Unwanted Dirty Fingers in your mouth (that's an Indica),  The Brown Dollop, The Amsterdam Purple Syphilis, The Priapism Haze, The Public Defender, The Afghanni Cosmonaut, The Molesting Priest, The Hormel No Beans Chili and my personal favorite The Used Pineapple Dildo. 

How about you try this. . . . The Porcelain Princess.  It's umm.. . . another kind of weed. . . . and it um . . .  gets you high. . .  Hey man,   am I reading this right?  Do you want to bone me bro?  . . Come on man, don't act like that.  Don't be embarrased bro,  I have that power over dudes.  Dudes are totally straight until they get a good look at my fuckin dreads man. 

What say we get some Purpletastic AssBlastic and head up to my apartment bro?  We can get fuckin lit up! Smoke smoke puff puff.  You feelin me bro?  Then we can totally blow each other and play some XBox?  . . . . . . Your wife if waiting in the car?  It's cool, she can totally blow me too, man.

1 comment:

  1. Whaddyou say? Sorry, Dude, I’m so high right now. Wait, did I just say that out loud?