Friday, August 5, 2011

Bible Belt Babble with Willard "Teabag" Chinsley

Me in my least retarded hat.
Greetings, American Patriots!  I am Willard "Teabag" Chinsley, and I am the Grand Dragon of my local Tea Party in Myopia, Texas (hopefully working up to "Exalted Cyclops" by the next election season!). Welcome to the new America molded by the able hands of the Tea Party!  Here we are, observing a great milestone in the destruction of the American economy.  That's right folks, S&P has downgraded the US credit rating to AA+ for the first time in history!  Surely this will translate into explosive job growth and a dramatic increase in Baptist church attendance. 

I know there are many liberals, and those in the "lamestream media" that will try to paint the credit rating downgrade as something negative, but we all know better.  The way I see it, this is the beginning of the end for Obama.  Once he sees that the policies of the Tea Party have stoked a raging fire in the economy he will have to do everything in his power to stop it.  He will frantically try to increase infrastructure spending, or feed the poor or something, but it will be too late.  His chances of initiating Sharia law will be shattered, and after the 2012 election the white house will become white again.

We all need to thank those that really made this happen.  For instance, we must thank God for giving Sarah Palin a retard baby, discouraging her from further procreation and steering her focus towards the work of spreading the Teabagger agenda.  And yes, I still use the term "Teabagger".  I am taking it back from the godless liberals that use it for ridicule, even if it does describe the act of slapping one's exposed testicles on the face of an unsuspecting person.  That's right folks, "I AM PROUD TO BE A TEABAGGER!"
Taking back "Teabagger"

My official purpose for posting here is to kill off some of the stereotypes about my fellow Teabaggers.  Just because we are composed entirely of white evangelical Christian people, everyone is certain that we must be a racist organization.  This is ENTIRELY untrue, and almost criminal slander.  We allow colored people, latinos, and even orientals provided they sign an agreement to avoid eye contact with our other members.  And we are currently working on a re-education facility to allow former Muslims in, as well!  You see, the Tea Party has come a long way since it's early days back in 2009, when minorities were hunted for sport.  And to reflect the changing times, we are replacing the old Tea Party logo with the new contemporary logo.  It says everything we are about.  So here is the unveiling... Until next time, Teabaggers!
From controversial to sexy in record time!

1 comment:

  1. Funny, but I like the political hurting animals!! I hunt, so...anyway, fuck you for judging me.